Creative Discipleship for Sons
Friday, September 25, 2009 Posted by Pastor Fred Wolfe
My seven year old son bobbed down the isle at "The Largest Used Bookstore in Florida". They had books on everything from "Apples" to "Zebras", and from "A" to "Izzard". He didn't really care which book we bought. He was there to be with his dad.
Every once in a while my son comes up to me and asks, "Dad, can we do special time?" It has become a tradition to take one of my kids out for one on one time, where we do something out of the ordinary. One of their favorite things to do is to have a "theme night", which is what brought us to the used bookstore. They have a huge children's section, and a special section within that with award winning books. We choose a book, then come home, and based on the subject of the book, create a meal that reflects that subject.
Most of the time, the books are good for exposing my kids to great art, rich language, different cultures, or classical stories. The meals on the other hand are good for exposing them to some sugar or grease, and me to some heartburn. Oh well, it's only once in a while.
The real lessons, on the other hand, come on the journey leading up to the actual event. You see, through all of that, it is my goal to disciple my son. I want to enrich his relationship with Christ, and show him how men live out their faith in the real world. I do this because discipleship is by nature incarnational. It can only be done in-the-flesh. It cannot be done at a distance. It cannot be done taking your children to a Christian school, Sunday school, or youth program. It can only be done by you being physically with them. Quality time can only be purchased with quantity. A photographer once told me, “The secret to taking top-quality pictures is to take a lot of pictures.” Quality only comes from quantity. Discipleship is done when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Is there any doubt as to why Jesus came in the flesh and grew up among us? He could have come from the clouds as a man and died for our sins, and that would have been sufficient. On the contrary, Jesus was not trying to be sufficient, he was not trying to be pragmatic or utilitarian. He was creating disciples, which can only be done in real-life personal contact.
Before we ever enter the bookstore, I tell my son to watch the way I talk to the people, and try to do the same. When we enter the bookstore, I make it a point to start conversations with the employees behind the counter. I make eye contact with them. I stand up straight and confidently. I mention Jesus. Then we head back to the kids section.
While we are browsing, we get a chance to talk about all sorts of things. Think about all you could bring up as you stroll along in a bookstore! We talk about anything and everything from book binding, to the wonders of creation, to the religions of the world and why we choose Christ, to the morality of the Christian life. As we plan our meal, we talk about health, and respecting our bodies as temples, about cooking techniques, and providing for our family.
Here are some ideas for starting a discussion with your son:
What new thing would you like to learn to do? Why?
What is the funniest thing that has happened to you today?
What is the best thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is your dream and vision for your life?
What was the kindest thing that someone ever did for you?
What was the nicest thing someone ever said to you? How did it make you feel?
How do you think our words can affect other people?
How do men treat their wives?
What is your duty as a Godly man?
What makes a person a Christian?
I would suggest that any man with a son reading this ought to intentionally begin to disciple him. Your son is your legacy. What are you leaving behind in him? You have such an opportunity to effect multiple generations for Christ. You are beginning a dynasty with what your son will become, and good or bad, it rests on your shoulders. Your own relationship with God spills over and runs deep into the veins of your family tree. I implore you, do not open a vein and bleed it dry with your apathy. Malachi warns what will happen to the land where the Word of God will not bring fathers and sons together: "And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." (Malachi 4:6)
Be intentional. Be incarnational. Plan for it. Make it the priority. You can do it! "..Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)
Every once in a while my son comes up to me and asks, "Dad, can we do special time?" It has become a tradition to take one of my kids out for one on one time, where we do something out of the ordinary. One of their favorite things to do is to have a "theme night", which is what brought us to the used bookstore. They have a huge children's section, and a special section within that with award winning books. We choose a book, then come home, and based on the subject of the book, create a meal that reflects that subject.
Most of the time, the books are good for exposing my kids to great art, rich language, different cultures, or classical stories. The meals on the other hand are good for exposing them to some sugar or grease, and me to some heartburn. Oh well, it's only once in a while.
The real lessons, on the other hand, come on the journey leading up to the actual event. You see, through all of that, it is my goal to disciple my son. I want to enrich his relationship with Christ, and show him how men live out their faith in the real world. I do this because discipleship is by nature incarnational. It can only be done in-the-flesh. It cannot be done at a distance. It cannot be done taking your children to a Christian school, Sunday school, or youth program. It can only be done by you being physically with them. Quality time can only be purchased with quantity. A photographer once told me, “The secret to taking top-quality pictures is to take a lot of pictures.” Quality only comes from quantity. Discipleship is done when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Is there any doubt as to why Jesus came in the flesh and grew up among us? He could have come from the clouds as a man and died for our sins, and that would have been sufficient. On the contrary, Jesus was not trying to be sufficient, he was not trying to be pragmatic or utilitarian. He was creating disciples, which can only be done in real-life personal contact.
Before we ever enter the bookstore, I tell my son to watch the way I talk to the people, and try to do the same. When we enter the bookstore, I make it a point to start conversations with the employees behind the counter. I make eye contact with them. I stand up straight and confidently. I mention Jesus. Then we head back to the kids section.
While we are browsing, we get a chance to talk about all sorts of things. Think about all you could bring up as you stroll along in a bookstore! We talk about anything and everything from book binding, to the wonders of creation, to the religions of the world and why we choose Christ, to the morality of the Christian life. As we plan our meal, we talk about health, and respecting our bodies as temples, about cooking techniques, and providing for our family.
Here are some ideas for starting a discussion with your son:
What new thing would you like to learn to do? Why?
What is the funniest thing that has happened to you today?
What is the best thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is your dream and vision for your life?
What was the kindest thing that someone ever did for you?
What was the nicest thing someone ever said to you? How did it make you feel?
How do you think our words can affect other people?
How do men treat their wives?
What is your duty as a Godly man?
What makes a person a Christian?
I would suggest that any man with a son reading this ought to intentionally begin to disciple him. Your son is your legacy. What are you leaving behind in him? You have such an opportunity to effect multiple generations for Christ. You are beginning a dynasty with what your son will become, and good or bad, it rests on your shoulders. Your own relationship with God spills over and runs deep into the veins of your family tree. I implore you, do not open a vein and bleed it dry with your apathy. Malachi warns what will happen to the land where the Word of God will not bring fathers and sons together: "And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction." (Malachi 4:6)
Be intentional. Be incarnational. Plan for it. Make it the priority. You can do it! "..Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)
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